This is stunning. The imagery is very strong, these are distinct emotions and images in each stanza. The only part that I found a bit conflicting was the first few lines:
Oh
I just can't stand it
Shuddering, shivering now
Like ice, eyes like ice
Come a bit closer now
I laugh at your attempts
Self control is overrated
Temptation, fall to it

The line "shuddering, shivering now / like ice, eyes like ice" seems to project an image of meekness or fear, as if you were shying away from the icey eyes. The next line, however, beckons the object of your fear closer, and you laugh at their attempts, demanding that they give in to you. This seems to be conflicting. I like the lines overall, but it is a bit confusing as to what kind of mood you're trying to set.

All in all, a very good poem. A+ work! ^_^

.Morwen

Thanks for the opinion! I agree with you actually, although what I really meant was shivering with the effort of resisting, or something like that, I think I will fix it, it's not very clear. Thanks again

--
"Every nerve glowing like a firefly...Glowing divine." - Delirium, Euphoria

"I am greater than self, come find me
I am weary of sin, so help me
I am the dancer to the dance of life
I live on bread and blood red wine." - Attrition, I Am

No problem! I don't guess you'd want to return the favour and check out some of my poetry? *nudge-nudge*

.Morwen

one word....breathtaking

this is definately some deep and great stuff<trying to take some talent with him>

Aww thanks!!!

--
"Every nerve glowing like a firefly...Glowing divine." - Delirium, Euphoria

"I am greater than self, come find me
I am weary of sin, so help me
I am the dancer to the dance of life
I live on bread and blood red wine." - Attrition, I Am

One word, "wow". That has some deep meaning and I can't help but fall into it like a movie when reading it, its something that sucks you in I guess. Very good work I enjoyed reading it, everything flows and is woven seemlessly into a great piece of poetry. Great work again .

-engulfs it- I LOVE IT! Oh my lord its absolutley malicious, and impure. God I Love it, its so feindishly dark. I never favored a poem, and this one... its unique. I cant see any relations to music or anything and just straight. Perfectly done. I can go on but I musnt. I just must add it to my favorites.

--
If i'm an angel,
paint me with black wings.

YAAAYY I have gotten such awesome comments on this piece I am sooooo psyched, thanks!!

--
"Every nerve glowing like a firefly...Glowing divine." - Delirium, Euphoria

"I am greater than self, come find me
I am weary of sin, so help me
I am the dancer to the dance of life
I live on bread and blood red wine." - Attrition, I Am